Just in time for summer, a Weiner roast

It used to be that puzzle time on the kitchen counter was a pretty innocent way to spend an hour. Even if it happens to be while listening to the nightly news as I botch another recipe with my proclivity to confuse tablespoons with teaspoons.

But that was before Anthony Weiner got a hold of a camera and a Twitter account. Since then, watching the nightly coverage with two three-year-olds has made for a very interesting take on national news.

Rep. Anthony Weiner is the Democratic New York congressman currently entangled in controversy surrounding a photo sent over his Twitter account. The photo in question was intended for a 21-year-old girl from Seattle with whom the potential New York City mayoral candidate – and very married politician – had been socializing on the popular networking sight. Instead, it was sent in such a way that the content of the message was visible to all of the congressman’s Twitter followers.

The three-year-olds in question (like most of us will agree) understand that wiener is, quite simply, a funny word. And when it’s being used on a “Mommy show” – something they normally would tune out for being too boring and void of bright colors and silly bodily noises – it becomes a hilarious word. Now, like a recipe that sort of creates itself, pepper in the words “picture” and “photo” and strategically say them right after the congressman’s last name, and you have something these two young boys (and perhaps, many of us) consider sheer comic genius.

All during the six-o’clock news.

Obviously my problem isn’t with the word itself; I didn’t even bother trying to hide my own giggles. And it is, after all, the guy’s name. Not to mention the fact that I’ve been caught saying far worse while destroying an otherwise perfectly good recipe. It’s the arrogance – not to mention the icky-ness – of the act itself.

Weiner spent the better part of the past week playing footsie with the media, clearly hoping his charm and inconsistent brush-offs would keep them and all of their pesky questions at bay. Unfortunately for the congressman, the new era of investigative bloggers didn’t swoon over him the way young girls appear to. Like Larry Craig in the airport bathroom, his story never did add up, and that’s what’s offensive. Where’s the shame? The humiliation? My preschoolers even understand that – as silly as it is – it’s still embarrassing subject matter. 

The puns we can make are infinite and equally hilarious – to all age groups, apparently - and we all have a pretty good idea what the “tweet” consisted of. (I know a couple little boys who would gleefully tell you). But the truth is, lewd subject matter is well … subjective, so we should probably cut the guy some slack. After all, when you consider his voting record, it’s quite possible the “offensive” picture in question was merely a shot of a balanced budget.

This column was originally published in the June 8, 2011 edition of the St. Maries Gazette Record.

Four weeks?! I've got some explaining to do ....

I look back over the past month and wonder what happened. I suppose it’s tough to pinpoint exactly where I’ve gone off track when you consider my days are a blur of refereeing twin fights and cleaning up every inch of the bathroom on an hourly basis (how do boys manage to consistently miss the toilet bowl but have the aim of an Olympic marksman when they challenge each other to a pee-off and the target is the neighbor cat on the move?).

But it seems to boil down to three things, just three small distractions that have kept me from working on my site: 1) No leisure reading time, 2) trying to harness Joey’s newfound curiosity for all things dangerous and breakable and 3) the acquisition of a sewing machine.

It’s no accident that some of the best writers are big readers themselves. The more you read, the better you write. Period. Regardless of your current skill level, reading will make your writing better. When I don’t make the time to read, there’s no inspiration to find the time – or right combination of words - to write, and it’s not something you can force. I certainly have enough material; I’ve read enough in the past to have plenty to review, just not enough gas in the tank to write a decent post.

Which leads me to Joey .... With only three years under my belt, I’m still relatively new to this parenting thing, but I’ve learned that - so far - the ages one to three are the hardest, and Joey is no exception. And although these years come with amazing milestones like walking and talking (she just said “Bye Daiyy”), they also come with an overwhelming curiosity and the grabby little hands that go along with it. She is utterly fascinated with the computer and wants to pound on the keyboard right along with me, so on the rare occasion inspiration has struck (I have a couple reviews about half finished) the second she hears that tap, tap, tap of the keyboard, she comes into the office to help. At least I have someone to blame for the typos.

And, lastly, my sewing machine. Probably one of the coolest birthday presents I’ve ever received. I love it. (Thank you Mom!) But it’s also proved to be more of a challenge than I ever could have guessed. I knew it would be an uphill battle: The small amount of creativity I do have doesn’t translate to textiles, or sketching, sculpting, painting or even color-by-numbers. 

But I just wanted to make a simple pillowcase. 

Five weeks later, it’s still unfinished. It’s been started and re-started. Done and re-done. And still sits in a comically over-sized heap on my couch. I know when something looks good, I know what I like when I see it ... a pretty painting, a beautifully sculpted clay pot or a fun new fashion discovery ... I just can’t create it myself.

But at least I can write about it, which leads me to this rather sloppy transition, a new fashion find, something truly unique made by someone truly unique herself. Poor Pitiful Pearl, a fellow blogger, mother of two and someone who knows how to harness her fashion inspiration and who uses her gift for a worthwhile cause, donating 10% of her profits to charities such as Casa Hogar Orphanage in Puerto Escondido, Mexico. I suppose I’ve added her into this post for a couple reasons 1) because in the small amount of time I’ve gotten to know her, it is evident she is a truly genuine person and someone who deserves a mention and 2) as a fourth reason for my absence … I’ve been too busy following her blog and shopping her Etsy boutique.

Me in my latest fashion obsession, PPP.

Luckily for me, I believe a big portion of writing ability is inherited, and even though it’s a skill that needs to be honed, I’ve hit the genetic jackpot. My sewing skills, however, are gonna need some work, but I suppose genetics gave me a bit of a nudge there as well, considering I’ll get a fair amount of practice hemming pants for three children the next 18 years.

Product Review: Melissa & Doug Puzzles

I've raved about this company before, here. And now I have evidence of how amazing Melissa & Doug products are. In the same way that I rush down every morning and head straight to the coffee maker, my boys rush down and pull their Melissa & Doug puzzles off the shelves and onto the kitchen counter to play with while we make breakfast.

Here's what they did this morning ...

All.
By.
Themselves.

Brock pieced together all 50 states, and Jack rearranged the alphabet to spell his own, his brother's and sister's names.

Brock (sitting on the counter after being told countless times to get down) and Jack show off their new passion, Melissa & Doug puzzles.

Brock gives us a closer look at his states. His favorite ones? Louisiana, Florida and Idaho (of course!).

Jack proudly displays his jumbled-up letters. Two seconds before taking this picture, he had spelled out "Joey" (notice her peeking up at us from below the counter. So cute!). When I said I wanted a picture, he quickly destroyed his work and smiled proudly. Little stinker.

This isn't the first time and certainly won't be the last time you'll hear me go on and on about this company. We are 100% sold on their products, and as a testament to that fact, we made a HUGE investment in them last year, stocking nearly their entire catalogue. You really should come check it out and grab a few of their amazing products for your kids or grandkids.